MAKING
               Life 

COUNT
                                                                      by Nora Profit
     
            HIDDEN IN A QUIET FIVE-ACRE oasis just off Montague Expressway in Santa Clara, surrounded by stately trees and the sound of water, and housed in the majestic 1860 James Lick Mansion, is a non-profit organization whose mission is to help people come to terms with the reality of death. “We know about it. We expect it, and still we deny it,” says MaryAnne Kelly, executive director of the
Centre for Living with Dying. “It’s our denial of death that doesn’t
allow us to embrace life, embrace our loved ones or live to our
full potential in the here and now.”

            Kelly, who realized early that living fully only happens when you recognize the fragility of life, began the Centre for Living with Dying after coming face-to-face with the reality of death herself At age 20, her husband committed suicide with a high-powered rifle in the living room of her home. “My life changed with the blast of that rifle:’ she says. In the 10 years that followed, Kelly saw 11 of her close friends and relatives die. One of those individuals was her 20-year-old son who died shortly after a fireplace accident. “What found in this ten-year period of isolation and profound grief was zero support. So, with thirteen interested volunteers and myself , the Centre was launched?’

            Today, Kelly, winner of the 1993 National Caring Award, heads an organization that not only has seven full!-time employees and more than 225 volunteers, but is also the most comprehensive bereavement agency in, the United States. “Almost everyone, including receptionists, counselors and therapists is a volunteer, says Charmiel Teresi, director of development for the Centre. “It’s the way we work?”

            Since its inception in l976, the Centre’s staff has helped more than 800,000 people. There are programs to help individuals living with the aftermath of homicide, accidents, assault, rape, suicide and abuse, and those attempting to come to grips with their own impending deaths. The Centre also has in-service training and crisis intervention services for healthcare professionals, emergency personnel, therapists, social workers, clergy and others working on the front lines of illness, death and grief.
           
            “It’s important for people to have a safe, non-judgmental environment where they can express their feelings arid that includes professionals:’ says Kelly).”We’re a death-denying society and that makes it difficult for us to cope with the reality of dying and the fragility of life. Our society is fixated on death in the media.

            Yet, we are terrified within ourselves, refusing to recognize that death will happen to us and the people we love.”